What do I want to be or not to be?

For most of us out there, the most difficult question that we all have had to answer at one point in our lives is, "What do I want to be?".

For some brilliant minds, the answer is easy and it doesn't change over time. Some people might have always wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer and so on.

This post for those average joes out there like me, for whom, "What do I want to be?" has been one of the toughest question we have had to answer.

Here goes my story..

Today I am a User Experience (UX) Consultant. What's that? Well it is my job to ensure that you when you use an application / website, you do whatever you want to without having a a person to explain it to you. The words "design" and "experience" sums up pretty much what I do. Yes! It is interesting if it is done the way it is supposed to do. In IT that's not how things roll, we take shortcuts owing to time constraints and hence the depth behind my job is reduced by a large extent.

I was not always in this profession. I started my career as an IT & Risk Consultant. Why? Well, that was the first job I got when I finished my MBA and I was forced to take it up. What I did was, walk into companies, look at the financial and operational applications they used and evaluated if there are loopholes in the applications through which there is a risk of exposure to fraudulent activity.

For example, a project I was once involved in was investigating a "large ticketing site's" (name cannot be disclosed :D) system integrity and what we found out was that there was a flaw in the application that handled their coupons. An employee had figured this loophole and had used a coupon code several times to book many flight tickets thereby causing a loss to the company. Sounds interesting? Behind that finding, there was a lot of data crunching and several nights of cross verification of data and reports. Something that did not excite me. I did what I did because I was good at it (even though I didn't enjoy it) and I did not find a pressing need to find another job, until I woke up one morning feeling empty. I searched for the cause and no, it was not the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend. I merely did not like what I did at work.

Now that I had figured out what I did not like. I had two options; continue to do what I did and get my L1, move to US and do this job for the rest of my life or figure out what I want to, change jobs, accept that maybe the other job may not pay as much but at least I might do a job that I love. It was not hard to decide for me. I knew I had to change my career. I did not regret doing this job for nearly 2 years, it did give me a lot of experience and I was thankful for that.

The big question that followed that was "What do I want to do then?" The truth was I didn't know. I had interned as a Business Analyst (BA) and I liked what I did. So this meant completely changing my career for good. I wanted to move back to Chennai and I found a company that had an opening. Now, I wasn't a BA but I had to convince a company that I was good enough to be hired. Needless to say, I did manage to impress them and I got the job. I couldn't be happier. I loved every aspect of my job. Did I like the company? To be honest, No. Even though I was back home, I could barely make time for anything or anyone. I was working almost 16 hours a day and it didn't bother me in the beginning. It started to get to me when I started gaining weight and my clothes stopped fitting me. All that love that my mother showed through her food and hectic days at work, there was no escape from either.

You realize your needs change over a period of time. My focus was on bringing about a balance now. I wanted to come back home at a decent time so that I can do small things like, shop for groceries or go for a run. I put myself out in the job market after serving nearly 2 years. Unfortunately, finding a job as a functional BA was hard and that is when I got the opportunity for an interview for a UX position at a big and reputed MNC. I used to execute a part of the UX work as a BA but it was not something I had thought as a career.

I was skeptic about changing lines and also moving for a bare minimum hike. It was a great risk. I also needed the brand identity and work life balance. I decided to go for it. I was maybe 50% sure that this would work for me. Even after moving to my new job, I had my doubts and kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing. Then slowly, I started to learn the depth of the job and started liking it more. It has rekindled the creative side of me that I thought was lost forever. I mean c'mon, I can design applications that you download off your app stores and play stores. How nice is that?! 

Today, I may not be at par with my fellow risk consultants in monetary terms but I am a person who likes her job. I may not necessarily love the company I work for and that's why I have no guilt in switching companies. Taking risks and exploring several lines has brought me here and I cannot be more thankful for it.

The way I see it, there are are two ways to have a career
1. Don't give a damn about the kind of work you do. Kiss ass and go up the ladder. The faster route probably in today's corporate scenario. You might even get a visa for the US of A done faster than others.
2. Love or like your job at the very least. See if it brings out the best in you. Stick to a company for as long as it works for you. Try to strike a balance and have some personal life. Make enough money to survive :).

I chose option #2. I have never been good at kissing asses anyways :D. 

Free advice ...

• Start your career in small / mid sized companies where your presence matters. All learning that you get is within the first few years in your career. You will be bombarded with so much work that extends beyond your role, it will help you learn by heads and bounds.
• Don't stick to your first company for years together. Change companies. Meet new people. Learn to survive new environments. Do it as long as the market is willing to take you
• After few years, try to get a brand identity of one of the MNCs just to get opportunities in the market.
• Always keep asking if you like your job. A kind of a periodic self evaluation if you must call it.

You might not know what you want to do in life that easily. Take some leaps in the hope that even if you fall, you would figure out what you don't want. 

Sometimes a leap is all it takes to avoid a ditch :). 

Keep Exploring.. :) :)